Stand Up For Judas
by Mal's Left Eye
Summary: A comment from Hermione sends Harry's mind in to overdrive.


_Authors Note: This is the first Fic I've ever written, so I hope you like it ;; I'm trying to make it as in character/fitting with the world of HP as possible, but any constructive criticism is very much welcome just be nice, this is my first time!. Oh, and this story takes place in a mixture of book 5 and 6. Sorry about that, I kinda forgot that the opening line actually belongs in book 5 and the rest of it is book 6. It fits okay, if you ignore the real plot XD Well, as long as Harry and Draco get it on, Voldy can go bugger himself with a hot poker, right?_

**Stand Up For Judas**

A week after arriving back at Hogwarts, Harry was still concerned by what Malfoy had said on the train:

'I'll be _dogging_ your footsteps'

Harry had mulled the problem over constantly since the words had been said, thinking of everything Malfoy could possibly be planning. He must have seen Sirius at the station, there was no other explanation for it. But that didn't explain what Malfoy was up to, and Harry was at a loss as to what that was. Whatever it was, if Malfoy was plotting, it couldn't be good. Harry's thoughts drifted back to Sirius. He really hoped Malfoy hadn't seen him, Dumbledore surely wouldn't let him out again if he'd been spotted. Poor Sirius, Harry thought, shut up in 12 Grimmauld Place the whole time. Bloody Malfoy.  
His mind was still on Malfoy as he entered the great hall for dinner that night, so much so that he almost walked in to the boy himself.  
'Watch it, Potter!' Malfoy snarled, as Harry knocked against his shoulder, causing him to stumble back further than the impact really warranted.  
'Sorry, sorry' Said Harry absently, not really noticing who it was he'd walked in to. Normally he would have checked to make sure who ever it was was okay, but he was far to lost in thought to even take in the contact they'd made. He continued over to the Gryffindor table, unaware of Malfoy's astonished eyes following him the whole way there.  
'You alright, mate?' Asked Ron as Harry plonked himself down opposite him and Hermione.  
'Yeah, fine.' He replied distractedly, his mind still on the blonde.  
'You know, if something's wrong, you can tell us, Harry' Hermione said kindly, whisking a plate of pumpkin pasties away from Ron, who'd already helped himself to three, ignoring the slight sound of protest he made.  
Harry sighed. Ron and Hermione had already taken to going temporarily deaf every time he mentioned Malfoy. Hermione had even suggested that he was bordering on obsession. He didn't really want another lecture about how important it was this year for him to focus on his studies. But he was worried, and these two were his best friends. The idea of Malfoy following him around was nothing short of disturbing, and the implications of his words, Harry didn't like to dwell on it to much, but the thoughts kept invading his mind, even when he didn't want them to.  
Ron and Hermione exchanged worried looks at his silence. Harry sighed again, and decided to tell them about what he was thinking.  
'So it's just that one thing he said you're worried about?' Asked Ron when Harry had finished.  
'Well, yeah' Harry mumbled feebly  
'C'mon, Harry, what's that stupid ferret going to do, really?'  
'Ron!' exclaimed Hermione, 'Harry is obviously worried about it, we're supposed to be helping him!'  
Ron gave her a guilty look, 'Well there isn't anything really that wrong, is there?' He defended, shovelling pasty in to his mouth.  
'Well, no, not really,' She conceded, then turned her attention back to Harry 'I guess he has got a point Harry, Malfoy hasn't done anything. It was probably just an empty threat.'  
Ron vigorously nodded his assent, his mouth too full for him to say anything.  
'Either that' Hermione continued 'or he wants to have sex with you in a car with other people watching'  
Ron's hand stopped half way to his mouth, his forkful of pumpkin pasty falling back to the table with a wet splat.  
'Right, well, this year I was thinking you two should start organising your time better, you know, actually doing your homework on time and things' Hermione ignored Ron and Harry's stunned expressions, ploughing on with her new change of subject.  
'What?!' Spluttered Ron eventually, when Hermione seemed to have run out of things to say about time management. The force of his words made a rather timid blonde second year sat next to him spill gillywater all down herself.  
'Homework, Ron' Hermione said patiently, 'It's what normal people do. And I'd prefer it if you didn't copy my work any more, you're never going to learn anything like that'  
'No! The other thing, about the car sex!' Said a thoroughly traumatized looking Ron.  
'Oh, that,' Hermione said offhandly  
'Yes, that!' By then Ron's face had turned pillar box red 'How on earth does what Malfoy said have anything to do with _that_?'  
'Erm, well, it's something muggles do,' Hermione had started looking rather uncomfortable and was steadily turning the same colour as Ron ' They park their cars in lay-bys and encourage people to watch them or something. It's called Dogging. What?' She added at the incredulous looks Harry and Ron were giving her.  
'I- wait, muggles actually do that?' Ron's voice almost sounded fascinated by the thought of it 'Blimey, better not tell my dad, It'd shatter all his innocent dreams'  
Harry, who until then had remained silent, felt there was still something that hadn't been explained.  
'Hermione, how exactly do you know all that?'  
At that, the blush that had slowly started to take over Hermione's cheeks suddenly flared all over her face.  
'Oh, I heard someone say it once, so I looked it up in the dictionary.' And Harry and Ron burst in to laughter.  
'What?' Then a horrified look crossed her face 'Oh god, you do believe me don't you?' Herminie looked so anxious that Harry almost felt sorry for her. Ron, on the other hand, laughed harder.  
''Course we believe you, Hermione, its just the idea of you looking up dirty words in the dictionary' he said, once he'd recovered.  
Hermione sniffed, folded her arms and turned away from the boys, choosing to talk to Pavarti and Lavender for the rest of the meal. Ron seemed a bit disgruntled at that and munched his platitudes of pasties unhappily, occasionally shooting Hermione reproachful looks, checking to see if she'd noticed how offended he was. Harry, however, was too distracted to notice. Malfoy want to have sex with him? Malfoy? What a ridiculous idea. He knew Hermione was only joking, but what she said had struck a chord, low and resonating, and something had awoken deep inside him, something that wasn't going to go back to sleep easily. Unbidden, an image of Malfoy crept in to his mind. Harry squeezed his eyes shut, trying to force the image away, but that only made it worse. In the dark, his imaginary Malfoy blew him a kiss, winked, then smirked at him. He could just imagine Malfoy's oily voice;  
'Do you want me, Potter?'  
Harry stood up abruptly, accidentally slamming his hands down on the table and causing the blond second year next to Ron to squeak and drop her knife, which fell to the floor with a clatter.  
'You alright, mate?' Asked Ron for the second time that evening, this time with genuine concern in his voice. 'I don't feel too good, actually, I think I'll go to the hospital wing'  
'Harry, you've hardly eaten anything' Hermione protested, but Harry had already turned away and was heading out of the room. He didn't know where he was going to go, but it certainly wasn't the hospital wing. He couldn't begin imagine what Madam Pomfrey's reaction would be if he turned up saying 'Sorry, I've been having mental images of my worst enemy giving me a strip tease, I was wondering if you had anything to cure it?'  
Once out of the great hall, he headed towards the stairs. There'd be no one in the Gryffindor common room, and dinner wouldn't be finished for ages. He'd be able to get his thoughts together without being disturbed.  
The corridors were empty, too, the only person he had to speak to on the way there was the Fat Lady, and that was only to give the new password;  
'Amortentia'  
'Ooh, love is in the air!' Sang the Fat Lady as she swung forwards to admit him. Harry threw himself in to one of the familiar armchairs by the fire, smacking the side of his head in a vain attempt to get Malfoy out of it. All the way to the common room his imaginary Malfoy had been shedding clothing; loosening his tie, sliding it off from around his pale neck, wrapping it around Harry's and pulling him in for a deep, lasting kiss, his tongue coaxing its way in to Harry's mouth.  
Harry groaned at the thought, twisting round in his chair. This was Malfoy he was thinking about! Malfoy, slimy, ferret boy. The guy had been cruel to Harry and his friends ever since they'd started at Hogwarts. Hell, he was probably a death eater! How could Harry possibly be having thoughts like this about him? It was almost enough to make him ill. That is, if he wasn't so aroused. His trousers were becoming uncomfortably tight.  
Harry ran his hands through his hair. Sitting on his own in silence wasn't doing him any good. He ran to the dorm to collect his firebolt, perhaps a vigorous flight about the quiditch pitch would help, perhaps the violent rushing of wind would drive all thoughts of Malfoy form his head.  
However, just as he was heading for the corridor, Ron came in through the portrait hole. Harry could hear the Fat Lady still singing about love and found himself wishing she'd shut up.  
'Hey Harry' Said Ron, uncomfortably, then catching sight of the firebolt in his hand ' You going for a flight?' 'Yeah' Said Harry, mirroring Ron's discomfort.  
'Er, Mind if I come with you?'  
'Sure'  
The two of them walked out of the common room in silence, each lost in thought. Ron occasionally shot Harry nervous glances, similar to those he'd been giving Hermione earlier.  
'Look mate, I'm sure Hermione wasn't really that annoyed at us. She'll come round, I mean, it was pretty funny.' It took Harry a moment to work out what Ron was talking about.  
'Oh, yeah, probably'  
'I think she's got a screw loose, you know. You and Malfoy? What was she thinking? Sorry mate, but I don't think I have the stomach for that. Urgh! I mean, He's a Malfoy, not to mention a _bloke_.'  
Harry stiffened.  
'You know what, I don't think I feel like flying anymore' And with that he turned on his heal and walked straight back to the common room, not even hearing what Ron was shouting after him.

Harry entered the dormitory with his mind in turmoil. What Ron had said hit him almost as hard as what Hermione had, but not nearly in the same way. It was as if he'd had a bludger smash into his chest, the life knocked out of him. He wasn't even sure how he felt about it. Annoyed? Offended? No, that couldn't be right, that would mean he was actually interested in Malfoy, which he most certainly wasn't. He was just confused, that's all. In his mind, his imaginary Malfoy seductively slipped his shirt slightly off his shoulders, exposing milky-white skin, and doing Harry's mental state no good.  
He sat down heavily on his bed, head in hands. It was natural for boys his age to have thoughts like this, wasn't it? Just simple curiosity. Yes, curiosity, that was it. He'd liked Cho, hadn't he? Granted, their only kiss had been pretty awful. Maybe the trauma had put him off girls for life. No, that couldn't be right. He couldn't be, well, _that_ kind of person. Could he?  
He dropped backwards on to the bed with a soft thump and stared at the ceiling. What would his dorm-mates think? They wouldn't want to share a dorm with someone like that. He could just imagine the looks of disgust on their faces. And what about Ron and Hermione? Ron had made his thoughts pretty clear. What if they didn't want anything to do with him when they found out?  
No, he thought, I mustn't think like that. I'm _not_ that kind of person. There's no problem.  
Harry crawled into bed, still fully clothed, pulling the covers tight around him, as if they could shut out the thoughts assaulting his mind . He shivered in spite of his clothes and the bedding, trying to stop imagining what it would be like to have Malfoy in bed with him. He was alone in silence again, and the Malfoy he had thought up would not stop tormenting him. This time, though, the memory of Ron's words prevented him from inadvertently enjoying the sensation it gave him.

'I don't think I have the stomach for that'

It was all Harry could do to stop himself from crying. He made his best friend feel sick. The disgusted looks he'd imagined earlier on his dorm-mate's faces transferred themselves to Ron's. Harry didn't think he'd survive if Ron ever looked at him like that. He felt sick at himself.  
'Just like Ron' the thought miserably. He hated himself for his thoughts. No, he hated Malfoy. It was Malfoy's fault that this was happening. Perhaps he'd put a spell on Harry, and that was why he was having these disgusting visions. Yes! that must be it. Relief flooded Harry's body, all the fear and pain momentarily gone, allowing him to fall in to an uneasy sleep. 


End file.
